Dan Patrick has been promoted to final arbitrator as to who gets into heaven.

Only in Texas can one find so many Screwworms and loose screw people who believe they have a direct line to God.

“It’s James Talarico who decided to bring the Bible into this election. And let me tell you, that’s not a Bible I’ve ever read. I’ve never seen so much blasphemy from anyone running for office,” Patrick said to an uproar of applause. “Let me tell you what, I’m going to pray for that guy, because when he loses the Senate race, if he campaigns against God as he’s been doing, he’s going to Hell, for sure. That’s what we’re up against. That’s the darkness. That’s the light. That’s why we must be one.”

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