The problem a religious symbol atop a mountain of Christ King. The wall is needed, says Trump, and no religion is allowed to stop the construction of the wall. But when he saw the mountain, his brain started churning, and a change for the good, according to MAGA news, a new and better king to worship.
Donald Trump has wanted his face on Mount Rushmore for years.
South Dakota never seemed particularly interested.
Fortunately for Trump, there is another mountain.
Mount Cristo Rey rises above the desert where New Mexico, Texas and Mexico come together. At its summit stands a 29-foot limestone figure of Jesus Christ, arms stretched outward toward the borderlands below. The monument has stood there since 1939, and generations of pilgrims have climbed the mountain to pray. Tens of thousands visit the shrine each year. (Mt. Cristo Rey)
Now the Trump administration wants a border wall across part of the mountain.
The federal government is attempting to take roughly 14 acres belonging to the Catholic Diocese of Las Cruces through eminent domain. The Diocese is fighting back, arguing that the wall would damage a sacred place and interfere with religious freedom. (EL PAÍS English)
Construction has already produced something considerably less spiritual.
Explosions.
Crews have been blasting into the side of Mount Cristo Rey to prepare terrain for the wall. Customs and Border Protection even posted video of the work and described what was happening to the mountain as a “face lift.” (Inside Climate News)
A facelift.
That may have been the mistake.
Because once Donald Trump hears the words face and mountain in the same sentence, there is only one possible conclusion.
His.
The first phase was simple enough. Blast away some rock. Bring in bulldozers. Put up thirty-foot steel barriers. Tell everybody the mountain looks much better.
But then somebody apparently looked toward the summit.
There was already a man up there.
Worse yet, people had been climbing the mountain for generations to worship him.
Trump could hardly be expected to tolerate that kind of competition.
So, according to sources inside the Department of Satire, the administration has begun considering Phase Two of the Cristo Rey Facelift:
Replace Cristo Rey with Trump.
It solves several problems at once.
Mount Rushmore no longer matters.
Trump finally gets his mountain.
The pilgrims can continue coming.
And the president would no longer have to wonder why thousands of people were climbing all that way to see somebody else.
The transition should be relatively easy. The infrastructure already exists. There is a mountain. There is a cross. There is a pilgrimage route. There are worshippers.
All that remains is a modest personnel change at the top.
Government planners are reportedly considering new signs along the trail:
WELCOME TO MOUNT TRUMPO REY
PILGRIMS KEEP RIGHT
MAGA HATS AVAILABLE AT SUMMIT
DONATIONS ACCEPTED IN CASH, CREDIT CARD OR TRUMPCOIN
Visitors who remember the previous occupant may initially object.
But administration officials will explain that Jesus has not been removed.
He has merely been rebranded.
And unlike Mount Rushmore, there would be no need to carve Trump’s face into stone.
Just put him on the cross.
After all, he has spent years telling Americans that no president has ever been persecuted as much as he has.
The setting is perfect.
There is only one small problem.
For almost ninety years, the figure atop Mount Cristo Rey has stood with his arms stretched toward two countries as a symbol of faith and unity.
Trump is building a wall underneath him.
Perhaps that is why the mountain needed the facelift.
The man standing on top was sending the wrong message. (Source NM)
